life…

 

“You were made perfectly to be loved – and surely I have loved you, in the idea of you, my whole life long.”

   

-Elizabeth Barrett Browning

 

February 16^th 2001 was the day that our lives changed as we knew it. But it was definitely a change that we had prepared for, waited for & longed for…yes, for all of what seemed like an eternity. It’s funny how a single event in one’s life can bring forth so many different emotions… I never really understood how someone could cry tears of joy. Aside from that being the most contradicting statement I’ve ever heard it just seemed impossible that joy could trigger the outpour of something regularly reserved for a time of sadness. But when I held him in my arms there was no fighting it. It was real. There really is such a thing. And holding my little Marc-Rian, it was evident by the uncontrollable rush of emotion that I was so very overjoyed.

Being a mother is such a wonderful gift. To see him grow, to hear him laugh, to dry his tears & to hear him say “mommy” is the reason I strive for so much more than what can be easily attained each & every day. He amazes me with everything he says & he does. He teaches me things I never knew he knew & sometimes I honestly believe he is just way too smart for his own good. He is at that age where he knows right from wrong but he also knows that his mommy’s tolerance can be tested just for fun. He has an imagination that can send him soaring into worlds far beyond I can ever imagine but he also has the forthright to make his own decisions like a boy far beyond his years.

My Lil’Mister & I go out on “dates” every Saturday while Daddy is at work. He plans it out “just like a grown-up”. Our dates usually consist of a movie, lunch & a fun activity (like bowling or playing @ the park). When we eat lunch, he orders for me, pays for the bill (with mommy’s credit card) & signs the invoice (customer copy) “just like a grown-up. And without fail, he always ends the date with, “mommy, you are the best date ever! Thank you for being my date”.

Lately, my Lil’Mister has been telling me he has found the woman he is going to marry. But, he’s vowed me to secrecy. He says that one day, he’s going to buy a house across the street from Mommy (and always reminds me that there’s one with a for sale sign as we speak). He’ll take his girlfriend on a date & when they’re done, he’ll take out the ring & ask her to marry him.. When asked what they would do when they’re married, he says, “we can go on more dates & we can kiss too, just like you & daddy”. But just as it rolls off of his tongue you could tell that part will take a little getting used too as he laughs sheepishly & changes the subject… like a pro. the little man that he is, ends our conversation with… “but even when I’m married  

I will always be your baby!”

Through the trials & tribulations that life has brought to us I’ve learned that just merely surviving, as great as it is, is not as sweet as the victory of walking through the fire & coming out bruised yet unshaken. There were times when I truly believed God just didn’t have enough to go around. But even when my faith wavered, he still carried me through. Like all things in my life, I am grateful…even for the trials; because without them we’d never experience the joy in life’s abundant blessings.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish it’s work so that you may be mature & complete, not lacking anything. – James 1:2-4

I am so grateful for our Lil’Mister. He is such a blessing to us in every way. I pray that we can be a godly example (Proverbs 22:6) to him as he grows & becomes all that the Lord had envisioned him to be.

He is our everything…our love, our heart & our life.