paint by numbers…

so my life is kinda a whirlwind as we speak… it’s been a while since i’ve blogged. not for the lack of having absolutely nothing to blog about but because my life, as of today, if painted in a pretty picture would look somewhat like this…

pretty…colorful…chaotic…crazy…
…with a heavy emphasis on “crazy”.
now how in the world can you sum up all of that in a few sentences of idle banter?
i think if i didn’t know any better, the artist who created this has probably felt the same ‘all sorts of cuckoo’ that i have so intimately labeled my present state of mind.

so let me explain.. i’ve been approached with an opportunity that no one in their right mind could turn down. and the manner that it was offered could may as well have been laid out on a silver platter & placed before my feet. so what da problem is?! lol! well, i had to chose between another lucrative offer that was equally wonderful, definitely attainable & all within reach but something i’d have to fight for. not that i’m not up for the challenge; but in the gleam of the proverbial double edged sword.. a decision needs to be made. well.. that decision has been made with great confidence based on an assumption. an assumption that may as well have been etched in stone.. yeah! so in the midst of happiness…that same assumption just got blown into smithereens today !! & now, whoa is me because NOW i am in all sorts of confusion.
did i make the right decision? did i seal my fate?
go figure! this is so textbook Rina!
honestly! i need “my life.. paint by numbers”!

i remember when i was little i would read those “choose your own adventure” books. you read a little, you come at a crossroads & you get to choose your next step.. but your choice is never set in stone.. because you can live out the other choice at your every whim. or the beauty of it is you can do both adventures… fulfilled in every way. if only life were like that… you know? the whole “have your cake & eat it too”… is that really so bad?

on the upside of it all… (you know? the side of me that revels in being a little masochistic.. ) i am actually quite enthused that i feel somewhat fortunate enough to have such a dilemma. blessed in every sense of the word, so to speak. i mean if you’re gonna have a dilemma, this is a good one to have. confused yet with my long awaited validation of worth. it could be worse… i could be plotting world domination armed only with my good intentions. and in my efforts to de-clutter the chaos that is that painting above… i can’t help but zone into that peculiar pink “something” on the fish’s tail.

interesting